God and Wine

It is my practice that I evaluate and re-evaluate my life in all it's truths and fallacies--in all it's glory and darkness--through sickness and in health. I do believe that I am married to the better version of myself, so I have to constantly look at my relationship with myself and how we relate to world, and evaluate how my past affects my present affects my future. The past couple of months, I've seen life's truest colors--good and bad--a rainbow of disappointment received from people along side the darkest cloud that provided the professional successes that rained upon me. I've come to know myself a little better as I've excavated the hole where my old soul used to be. I had a soul transplant. After my transplant, I gained peace; I gained clarity; but most importantly, I gained a deeper understanding of myself and how I relate to others.  I'm a giver. Ever since I was a little girl, I've been giving. My mom always says that I was a very gener...

I was off this past Wednesday so I decided, after my chiropractor appointment in Chinatown (sketch, I know), to journey to Brooklyn. It was 70 degrees and sunny out and I was feeling myself so why not? I walked from Chinatown across the BK bridge to a vintage neighborhood called DUMBO. I ate 2 scoops of Butter Pecan Ice Cream from the Brooklyn Ice Cream Factory and laid out on the Brooklyn Promenade whilst writing (tryna be all deep and sh*t). I then went to a quiet bar/restaurant called 7 Old Fulton Street under the bridge and snatched a few cocktails and dinner... This begins my writing rant... A day in my mind:  1) My excuse for drinking Manhattans is there are bitters in them...and bitters are good for you, so.., 2) NYC is amazing. I thank God everyday I'm here. My apartment ain't everything I want it to be; my life ain't everything I want it to be; but one day on the Brooklyn Promenade can change all of that. I'm truly blessed and the best i...

Here you were trying to seek refuge in people and things, and he was there all along, waiting for his child to return to him. And patiently he waited, as you tried any and every other way to live your life. Then he started knocking people and things out of your life, right and left. And you complained about being 'alone.' You didn't understand why people and things were disappearing from your circle of comfort. You couldn't recognize that he was trying to shift things in your life, that he was trying to move you in a better direction--towards a superior way of living.  When things are moving and shifting in your life, the places and people that used to feel comfortable don't feel comfortable anymore. What used to be fulfilling  is only partially filling, if at all. Because a part of you is longing to be free. But in order to be free, you must lose some things to gain some things; you must rearrange some things; you must change some things.  Here you were trying to s...

Trouble in my heart It's 2:47am. June 1st. Early  Saturday morning . And I'm beginning this blog post because, once again, my sleep has been interrupted and falling back to sleep is more trouble than its worth.  I haven't had a good night's rest in weeks for a plethora of reasons. Tonight--or this morning rather--I have trouble in my heart. Yea. Cancelled plans have me home alone, again, this weekend, leaving me to contemplate my life, all that it is and all that it isn't. It's fair to say that this year of life has been marked with a series of cancelled plans and broken friendships that have opened my eyes to the growing (apart) pains of your mid-20's. And I thought this was supposed to be the "time of our lives."  I feel like I've been waiting for  "the time of our lives" since I was 14 years old. They promised us in middle school that high school would be "the time of our lives." It wasn't. They promised us at freshma...