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Learning to Feel


I've always been one to hide my feelings. In my world, there's no room for error...and having feelings meant room for error. I learned at a young age how to disguise my hurt with a smile, cover my pain with a bandage of unrequited love, stampede my grief with work. For so long, part of the mystery of Mia Michelle McClain was that she was a GLADIATOR--she showed no signs of weakness and she carried herself with grace. She had no needs for anyone but herself and God. She was a saint, a symbol of triumph, and a martyr for her artistic passions. "Hell, I am Mia Mc-F**ckin-Clain! I don't cry over petty things or simple people! I don't sulk, I simmer!" And then, I woke up one day in early August of last year and all of that changed.

I don't know why we build walls around ourselves. It does nothing for our character except make us less human. I've been building walls since middle school--and the longer you build them, the taller they get, and the harder to knock down, and the more debris to clean up once they've been knocked down! I'm in that stage now--the debris stage! You don't realize how many bricks there are-how much pain there is-until to go to knocking shit down. But right now, at ground zero, I've never felt better. There's something about taking a step beyond the borders of your comfort zone and breathing in all that life has to offer. There's something about being reborn again, or what I love to call "Entering your personal renaissance."

For years we've enslaved ourselves. Yes. We have built Jericho walls around our hearts, chained down our minds, and built souls of steel that protect us from the world. But as we protected ourselves, we forgot to feel. We forgot to live. We forgot to love.
Feelings, life, and love DO NOT have to be a distant memory from our forsaken childhoods. Today, you can start over; we can start over. We can start breaking down our walls, unchaining our mind, and melting our souls, essentially loving ourselves back to life.We can learn to feel ... again.
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