God and Wine

I Am My Brother -Inspired by a quest for justice, self love, and identity. They see us and stare and try to compare "How on earth could they share the same DNA?" "You're not like them..., " they say; But I am my brother. I am my sister too. The roads that we took were awfully the same. One ended in pleasure, the other in pain.  But we share the same blood, the same history;  For every life that's destroyed, I think to myself,  "that could've been me;" for I am my brother. I am my sister too. I've heard it said by quite a few, "That hoodie you wear doesn't match your IQ." Since when were we judged by the clothes on our backs? Since when does your bias determine my black? My black is your black, like whips on the backs of my ancestry. Legacy born in the shacks of the southern most shores-- created the doors, polished the floors so that we could restore the ties that were broken when black was unspoken. They still look and they s...

This morning I dreamt of Gentilly The boulevard with willow trees The nonexistent summer breeze that met its death one August morn I woke up in a panic For all I knew was washed away The mist of night the heat of day Our death was met too soon The gumbo colored waters of the Mississippi shores The symbols showing signs of death graffitied on the doors I dreamt of highways in the sky And bones above the ground The sounds  around and stench of life no more No breath is to be found And then I freeze Amidst the nonexistent breeze I wipe the sweat away Or is it tears? I fear my body crying Begging me to  Dream no more Say dream no more The nightmare is a-knockin' on your door

Sometimes a smile or a few words of encouragement can do more for someone than a bible scripture.  Or maybe a warm touch or kind gesture can speak life over someone in need in ways that Isaiah 40:31 or a proverb can't.  We must begin to break out of the box of colloquial religious antics and embrace unconventional and innovative levels of ministry-- ministry that heals regardless of the recipient's level of/lack of commitment to his or her spirituality. We must speak above and beyond the doubt and difference. We must speak beneath the crumbling surface of the shifting plates of the earth, creating a volcanic spiritual explosion that has no race, no religion, no color, no sexual orientation-just life, love, peace, and healing. 

Just when you think you're where you're supposed to be, God shows up and reminds you not to get too comfortable. I've been struggling with something for quite sometime now. I'm actually uncomfortable with sharing most of what I'm struggling with, but I will say this: I've never been afraid of following my dreams. I've always done what I wanted to do, both good and bad, and I've lived out my wildest dreams and fantasies. I remember when I was applying for college and my parents tried to convince me to a) apply to more than one school b) apply to schools closer to home c) consider majoring in something other than or in addition to theatre. Well, I did none of the above lol -- I applied to Syracuse University, early decision, as a candidate for a BFA in Musical Theatre. I also think about how I fearfully, yet boldly, moved to NYC five days after graduation. I say all that to reiterate that I've always believed in my dreams enough to go after them ferven...

It is my practice that I evaluate and re-evaluate my life in all it's truths and fallacies--in all it's glory and darkness--through sickness and in health. I do believe that I am married to the better version of myself, so I have to constantly look at my relationship with myself and how we relate to world, and evaluate how my past affects my present affects my future. The past couple of months, I've seen life's truest colors--good and bad--a rainbow of disappointment received from people along side the darkest cloud that provided the professional successes that rained upon me. I've come to know myself a little better as I've excavated the hole where my old soul used to be. I had a soul transplant. After my transplant, I gained peace; I gained clarity; but most importantly, I gained a deeper understanding of myself and how I relate to others.  I'm a giver. Ever since I was a little girl, I've been giving. My mom always says that I was a very gener...

I was off this past Wednesday so I decided, after my chiropractor appointment in Chinatown (sketch, I know), to journey to Brooklyn. It was 70 degrees and sunny out and I was feeling myself so why not? I walked from Chinatown across the BK bridge to a vintage neighborhood called DUMBO. I ate 2 scoops of Butter Pecan Ice Cream from the Brooklyn Ice Cream Factory and laid out on the Brooklyn Promenade whilst writing (tryna be all deep and sh*t). I then went to a quiet bar/restaurant called 7 Old Fulton Street under the bridge and snatched a few cocktails and dinner... This begins my writing rant... A day in my mind:  1) My excuse for drinking Manhattans is there are bitters in them...and bitters are good for you, so.., 2) NYC is amazing. I thank God everyday I'm here. My apartment ain't everything I want it to be; my life ain't everything I want it to be; but one day on the Brooklyn Promenade can change all of that. I'm truly blessed and the best i...

Here you were trying to seek refuge in people and things, and he was there all along, waiting for his child to return to him. And patiently he waited, as you tried any and every other way to live your life. Then he started knocking people and things out of your life, right and left. And you complained about being 'alone.' You didn't understand why people and things were disappearing from your circle of comfort. You couldn't recognize that he was trying to shift things in your life, that he was trying to move you in a better direction--towards a superior way of living.  When things are moving and shifting in your life, the places and people that used to feel comfortable don't feel comfortable anymore. What used to be fulfilling  is only partially filling, if at all. Because a part of you is longing to be free. But in order to be free, you must lose some things to gain some things; you must rearrange some things; you must change some things.  Here you were trying to s...

Trouble in my heart It's 2:47am. June 1st. Early  Saturday morning . And I'm beginning this blog post because, once again, my sleep has been interrupted and falling back to sleep is more trouble than its worth.  I haven't had a good night's rest in weeks for a plethora of reasons. Tonight--or this morning rather--I have trouble in my heart. Yea. Cancelled plans have me home alone, again, this weekend, leaving me to contemplate my life, all that it is and all that it isn't. It's fair to say that this year of life has been marked with a series of cancelled plans and broken friendships that have opened my eyes to the growing (apart) pains of your mid-20's. And I thought this was supposed to be the "time of our lives."  I feel like I've been waiting for  "the time of our lives" since I was 14 years old. They promised us in middle school that high school would be "the time of our lives." It wasn't. They promised us at freshma...

Earlier today, I was admiring someone else's life, looking at how she seemed to "have it all"--great friends, a prosperous career path, boyfriend/fiancé/husband. God got me together real quick--s/he said, "Don't feed into popular fantasies. What looks good on the outside ain't always good on the inside. And even if it is, I SET YOU APART FOR A REASON! Trust me." Sometimes it's so hard for us to trust whatever higher power we believe in, let alone, ourselves. We find struggle in trusting our own journey. We look at other people's lives in order to create conventional benchmarks for our own. "Sarah went to such-n-such college." "So-and-So got married at 26." "Jane Doe just bought a house." "John Doe just made partner at 28." Let's not forget the pressure we get from family to do and/or be whatever. If we had nothing or no one to base our life path on, how many of us would dream bigger? Would w...

Way to Freedom (Demo) Music, Lyrics, and Arrangments by: Yours Truly When I wrote this song--this song about freedom--I was going through it! I was stressed out. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired! At the time I didn't realize the power of my words--or in this case, Gods words that were spoken through the people of God. I had just heard a sermon at church and the Pastor said something like, "You can't be faithful and live in fear," or something like, "Faith and fear cannot coexist." I'm not much of a shouter in church so I sat there and pondered that message as I usually do. As I walked through the cold streets of Harlem, and let that message soak in, I began to realize that everything in life begins with a choice between faith and fear. Of course, with me being the truly analytical person that I am, that message really didn't sink in until months later when I had to finally make the decision to free myself, therefore, embracing fai...

Duck....duck......GET THE HELL OUTTA MY LIFE GOOSE! This entry is very simple. Pay attention. Definitions: Your circle : your close friends, family, and acquaintances. Divine assignment : something you were destined to do since conception; your ultimate passion or personal goal Golden rule: YOUR CIRCLE SHOULD BE HELPING YOU FULFILL YOUR DIVINE ASSIGNMENT(S). If not, you need to play a good ole game of Duck-Duck-Goose and CLEAN HOUSE ! Ok. I'm done.

I think I fell  in love with you when I was 13-- when I discovered the power you had over my life or the power you placed within me. Or maybe I fell in love with you when my fingers first graced the ebony and ivories of the wooden piano in my childhood home. Or maybe, it was long before that. Perhaps, I subconsciously fell in love with you while in my mothers womb--The sweet sounds of my father's genius fingers or my mother's angelic voice providing comfort as I sprouted from a seed in life's garden. Or perhaps, it was at conception. I don't quite remember the exact moment, year, month, week, age, or time of day. I just know that I woke up one day in a whirlwind romantic affair with you. All of a sudden, a life without you was unimaginable. Even when it seemed more painful to live with you than without you, you stuck by be and never let me go. I owe so much to you. So much of who I am is YOU.  I often think to myself, will I ever be able to love another? Wil...

I've always been one to hide my feelings. In my world, there's no room for error...and having feelings meant room for error. I learned at a young age how to disguise my hurt with a smile, cover my pain with a bandage of unrequited love, stampede my grief with work. For so long, part of the mystery of Mia Michelle McClain was that she was a GLADIATOR--she showed no signs of weakness and she carried herself with grace. She had no needs for anyone but herself and God. She was a saint, a symbol of triumph, and a martyr for her artistic passions. "Hell, I am Mia Mc-F**ckin-Clain! I don't cry over petty things or simple people! I don't sulk, I simmer!" And then, I woke up one day in early August of last year and all of that changed. I don't know why we build walls around ourselves. It does nothing for our character except make us less human. I've been building walls since middle school--and the longer you build them, the taller they get, and the harder ...

A few weeks ago, my flight from New York City to New Orleans was delayed. To make up for it, my airline offered me free baggage check and allowed me to alter the days of my trip for free. I got to thinking (as usual), what am I gonna bring home with me this time? 7 days is quite the stay and I'm traveling between 2 extremely different climates. I thought, 2 years ago, a simple carry-on would have sufficed. But I'm older now and I have a lot more "stuff." It seems like the older you get, the larger your suitcase. The little problems and minor experiences we used to bring aboard life's plane in a simple carry-on, has now become a overweight suitcase full of life size lesions that eat at the very core of us. You know, those overweight suitcases that they charge you an extra $75 for at check in. Yea. We carry 2 or 3 of those around with us daily an expect to move through life with the speed and precision we had in our younger years. We get mad at the world (and ourse...

In the 3 hours of sleep that I got on Wednesday night, I managed to have a dream about a guy repeatedly trying to break into my house. He was careless, leaving behind parts of himself in my backyard--shoes, clothes, tools. It felt like the saga went on and on. One day, he made it into my house and I stood face to face with him. How convenient it was that I woke up right at the climax of this confrontation. I got up and started thinking about how the enemy will try to break into our houses--our bodies, our personal sanctuaries. These parasites come in all different forms. They creep around our lives trying to figure out a way to break in--to break us. They leave hints and signals here and there--most of which we ignore or deny--and slowly ease into our lives at a moment of weakness. But let me not be misunderstood; We may let them in but they DO NOT have to stay! We can come face to face with these demons and let them know that we are not meant to break and they were not meant to break...