The Simple Girls

Simple Girls

I was watching an episode of Grey’s Anatomy the other day. Dr. Christina Yang was experiencing PTSD after a mass shooting at Seattle Grace/Mercy West Hospital.  She was also in the process of planning her wedding to Dr. Hunt. While flipping through bridal magazines, she says to the therapist:

“The women in these magazines, some of them are actually brides, you know. They’re not all models--All smiling. It’s like the only thing in the world that matters is that they find the perfect shoe to match that dress…I knew these girls…I used to feel sorry for them. They’re simple girls. They just wanna find the guy and get married, you know. ..I think you’re either born simple or you’re born…me…I wanna be simple, because no one holds a gun to the head of a simple girl.”

I thought a lot about what she said. In London this past sumer I had a conversation with some women about life and goals. One woman said that after graduating from Berkelee College of Music, she wants to get into the Music Business. Another said she wants to pursue a career in Criminal Justice. Of course I want to do EVERYTHING! Typical. J However, one young woman said that she’ll probably graduate, get married and start a family. My initial reaction, in my head of course, was “What!!!?” What kind of life goal is that? Isn’t there something you feel passionate about besides marrying in your hometown and breeding a caravan of small imposters that will dictate the rest of life?

To me, there’s always been more to life than being a future soccer mom—than carpooling and play dates. There’s always been more to life than picking the flowers for my wedding day or the color of my bridesmaid dresses. As a performing artist, singer-songwriter, teacher, activist, writer, composer, arranger, dancer, choreographer—and the list goes on—I have so many life goals I want to achieve, so many lives I want to touch. Getting married and/or having children any time soon falls at the bottom of my list. Okay, not at the bottom, but the top is asking too much. I want to get married and have children—lots of children. Someday.

Recently, I started thinking about how I too used to laugh and make fun of the “simple girls.” By simple, I don’t mean intellectually insufficient. I simply mean those women who aren’t….like me. For the longest I just couldn’t understand how a woman could dedicate her entire life to taking care of her spouse and raising children. HER ENTIRE LIFE! And then it hit me. PURPOSE. That may be her purpose. And who am I to ridicule or poke fun at a lifestyle choice other than my own. I feel that some people are born to be political activists, artists, professors, performers, surgeons, lawyers. And others are built to be leaders of the carpool, house parents, encouragers, supporters. And some are a mixture. And that’s okay. Somedays I wonder, "What if I was simpler?"-- If I could just have one passion instead of 20? Somedays I want to be the girl who marries her college sweetheart and settles down at age 22 to start a family in a small town. Sometimes, internally, I long to be the girl who’s greatest goal is the find that perfect pair of shoes to match that dress. Somedays. But most days, I don’t.